Updated: Nov 26, 2022
Do you contact your friends, who you might not have seen for a while even though you’re good friends with them, but for no reason you: apologise to them for not having been in touch for a while and you say you’re sorry for disturbing them, you’ve just had a lot on your mind?
If this sounds like you, maybe what is on your mind is you worry too much about possible consequences for interrupting someone’s time. This is probably related to a part of your past, probably your childhood that you haven’t resolved in your mind yet, so you haven’t quite got over it or the things you were made to apologise for in your youth for yet.
When you were younger others might have criticised you, such as your parents, teachers or friends. If this is the case for you, you can and should retrain your brain so it knows communicating with others is fine and it doesn’t mean you have done anything stupid or wrong, also that having a go at a hobby you enjoy is fine to mess up at sometimes – just like most people do. Also another way you might have been made to think about yourself was that looking the way you do just was not good enough!
Personally, I was criticised for pretty much everything I did by my father when I was a child, then in my twenties one of my older, uglier and fatter than me colleagues, who was never one of our bosses favourites, but I was. So she badly criticised me and bullied me – I was too young to see that jealousy was making her act in this immature way.
Now I’m in my 40s, I’ve found a great way to stop me doubting myself and fearing everything will go wrong.
One day my fear of possible mistakes I might make when doing my life’s things and my things might go wrong took over me one day.
To help me, I wrote all my life’s achievements and all the compliments I’ve received over the years about my personality and not so important - but I’m a woman so it is quite a big deal to me: my looks - down on a notebook page.
Every morning I stand in front of my bathroom mirror and read them out loud to myself (reading them out loud really helps one’s brain pay attention to you retraining it), until I feel proud of myself and I smile at myself and say "well done beautiful Laura – today you go get em’ girl!" This makes me feel happy and ready to take on whatever the day throws at me by being who I am. Knowing that I’m an intelligent, beautiful good egg, who gets on well with most folks and I regularly achieve my goals.
If you lack in confidence about goals you’re trying to achieve or in general with people or about your looks, do try writing down things you like about yourself and compliments you’ve ever received, then try giving them a read out loud to yourself in front of your mirror a go. Read them out to yourself while you look and smile at yourself at the start of each of your days. I promise you this works. When it works, which I promise you it will, do tell others about your new-found self-confidence trick and please encourage them to give it a go and if they do, I bet you’ll notice a happier side glowing out of them.
This should make both of you feel chuffed to know each other. They’ll thank you big time! You’ll probably get loads of thank you hugs – wow you’ll soon become very popular, if you’re not already. I bet you'll become very popular, if you get your shine back and share how you've done it with others. You’ve started getting your shine about you back just by using this blog’s tips - GO YOU! x