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Blog no: 10 Why does that always happen to me?

If you’re anything like me, you find things that really upset you or annoy you about yourself and things are ruining the easiness of your life keep happening and you want to know why so you can stop them.

If like me you always doubt yourself, you might have regularly have been criticised by a member of your family, a teacher or friend or they told you your answers to questions were wrong even though they were right or that your opinions about most matters were wrong or were not your business to be concerned about.

My dad treated me badly, nothing I did was ever right, mum and my teachers who all were on my side helped me to believe in myself. If you can talk to your best friend, or an adult you trust such as a doctor or your religious person you might pray with, about how you feel - they might give you some tools and tricks to help you get your self-esteem back and for it to be as strong as it should be and providing you’re a decent person, deserves to be.

Now my mum is 80 years old, she has got very over sensitive, so I often seem to wind her up and upset her for very little reason. She often says “stop criticising me and stop telling me off”, when all I’ve done is ask her if she has bought any milk to mine so she can have a cup. Even though this bothers me, to keep everything happy between us when I rarely get to see my mum these days - I have to learn to really take my time to think before I speak, to carefully consider whether me asking for the TV channel to be changed will upset her.

Yes, having to think so much before speaking to or around my mum is a little draining, but if I don’t help to make things as peaceful and happy between us as possible – I’ll only regret it when she pops her clogs.

If you keep having things happen that are because of your behaviour, if you can try to write each situation down, then read it a day after the incident has happened – no matter how small or irrelevant it may seem to others, if it has upset you, it’s worth writing it down and reading it to find out if there is a pattern to your behaviour which seems to be creating these instances.

Then if you can, write down and practice ways to handle things in opposite ways to how you currently handle them.

If you do this – you should feel much more content and happier within yourself. So much so, that you should get other people commenting on how much more relaxed you seem while you’re still being fun to be around.

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